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No excuses, ever.

11/15/2020

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I just lost a student to cancer.  She was 83 years old, and had been a personal training student of mine for 11 years.  She was  dedicated to her workouts, coming 2-3 times a week, and we became dear friends.
While she was in hospice, I visited often.  The day before she  left the planet, I layed in bed with her.  Her eyes were closed, she didn't move, and she had the death rattle (noisy breathing).  I spoke to her, having no idea if she could hear me or not.  I told her how wonderful she was, and how much she meant to me,  and reminded her of fun times we had together. 
Then, something inspired me and  I said, "Hey!  Are you just doing this to get out of exercise?  Because if so, it's not going to work!  So here we go.  Exercise number one: lift a finger." After a few seconds, of nothing, I figured she either didn't hear me, or couldn't do it.  Then she  did it!  She lifted a finger! Unsure if it was a coincidence, I said, "Okay!  Exercise number two: lift an eyebrow."  Again, it took a few seconds, but she did it!  She really did it!  I was so excited, I said "Great job!  Exercise number 3:  move your lips."    Amazingly, she did it.  I  could hardly believe it.  I told her she did a great job, and her  workout was complete.   
I'll never ever forget that.  As I laughed, I told her how much I honored her for playing along, and for still having a sense of humor.
I will miss this dear person, very much.  She was an absolute blessing to me.

So just think.  If she can exercise  while on her literal death bed, then you can do something too!  The trick is to do what's appropriate for you.  Go for it.
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August 07th, 2020

8/7/2020

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How do I stay sane during a pandemic?

3/24/2020

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Coronavirus.  It's all I have heard about for too long.  My business has taken a hit, for sure, but many others have it far worse than I (or is it me?). I now have much more time on my hands.  I have been trying to keep busy with things other than eating and facebook.  Those seem to be the things that call me most. 
This morning, while I was getting ready for the day, I decided to slow down my routine.  As I flossed, (okay, this is a little embarrassing to admit, but) I actually flossed between ALL of my teeth, even back behind my wisdom  teeth.    What?!?!?  LOL!  I slowed down.  I took the time to really get in there and do a thorough job.  
As I brushed my teeth, I took time to feel my teeth getting clean.  I noticed how much pressure I put on my teeth with my brush.  By the way, why isn't it called a teethbrush?  Oops, I digress.  I spent more time brushing, and enjoyed the experience of it.
I did the same while washing my face, moisturizing and putting on my face.  (That's an old expression, isn't it? ) I slowed everything down and enjoyed it.
As I ate my breakfast,  I actually sat down.  I don't always do that.  Wow, I'm confessing a lot today, aren't I?  And I chewed my food more thoroughly and tasted it more.  
I have no idea how much longer my routine took today, but today I have time.  Time to be mindful during the little things. 
​One thing I've learned in the past few years is that truly, your mind can only think about one thing at a time.  If you want a break from all the hype, focus on the little things in life.  Right now is when we have time to do that, so maybe... just maybe... we can get into a good habit of mindfulness that will keep us healthier.  A healthy mind is worth everything, and sometimes it's just the little things that make a big difference.
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Multiple Personality Disorder or Aspects of Oneself?

8/19/2019

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In my life, there has been nothing more difficult than watching a loved one  suffer with health issues.  When all you can do is stand by their side and let them know you love them, it doesn't feel like near enough.  It's stressful to say the least.  One thing I've learned, is that stress comes from trying to control something that you can't control.  Another person's health falls within that category, for sure.  You can't control someone's failing kidneys.  You can't control someone's  dementia.  You can't control someone's seizures.  All you can do is be there.  You can talk with them, hold their hand, make them a meal, clean their house, etc., but it seems so nominal.  It seems like nothing.    It can make you feel helpless, and bring your spirit down.
This morning I was feeling down, and I decided that I was going to let my inner warrior    angel guide me today.  I call it my inner warrior angel because I got an image of a beautiful white angel with a sword.  She looked beautiful, graceful, smart and strong.  It looked and felt to me as though she could handle anything.  I liked that, and it felt good to me to feel that spirit that I know is within me.  It helped.
Then I kind of laughed to myself.  I thought of the story of Sybil.  She was a real woman who had 16 personalities.  She was diagnosed with  Multiple Personality Disorder: a type of psychosis.  Depending on what was happening in her life, different personalities would come through.  If I remember correctly, some of her personalities were children, some were men, some were women.   
For a moment I thought, "Oh no!  Am I psychotic?!?"  Luckily I remembered that her personalities didn't know that the others existed.  I think that is key, so I figured I'm okay.  LOL
But it made me ponder the idea that people really do have different aspects of themselves.  If one were to meet the Queen of England, they would attune to  a certain aspect of themself that would be far different than the aspect they would attune to  when meeting up at a bar    with a lifelong friend that they hadn't seen in 20 years.    A singer brings out a different aspect  of themself on stage than they would at a gas station.  Thank Goodness!
Anyway, I'm thankful that I can draw on the strongest and most beautiful part of myself whenever I want to.  It's a very good thing.

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Don't worry, it'll be fine

11/15/2018

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“Don’t worry, it’ll be fine.” These are words that are meant to be helpful, but sadly, are not. They’re usually taken to mean, “Stop feeling the way you feel because you're stressing me out.” This can be hurtful and cause even more stress. As I tried to figure out why it’s so common to say these words, I thought of my dad. He was one of the greatest people I’ve known.

One of the things he used to say was, “Let’s not get upset yet. Let’s wait and see what happens, and then we can work with whatever that is.” Is that brilliant, or what? It's a reminder to live in the moment, and encourages inner strength. It offers a belief in that person that they'll be able to handle whatever comes their way, and that they can work it as a team. I’m going to use that line from now on.
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No Thank You?  How Rude!  Or is it?

7/15/2018

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When I go for a run, I always smile and say hi to anyone I pass by.  This morning, my friendliness was completely ignored.  The man had a scowl on his face, and did not look away from the ground.  Although it didn't bother me in the least, it reminded me of times when I've heard people complain about holding a door open for someone without receiving a thank you.  I've actually seen people scream, "You're welcome" to a person who seemed oblivious to what just happened.

When people are sad, distraught, depressed, etcetera, it is common to turn our attention inward.  We think about what happened yesterday, or  last year, or 10 minutes ago, or what we're going to do when we get home, or next week, or whenever.   In other words, we're not in the present moment.  Even if it looks like a person is seeing  what's going on around them, it could very well be the only thing they're aware of is how they are feeling.  

Practice compassion.   You just never know what is happening in someone's life.    They may be struggling through a trauma.  To get upset about  not receiving a thank you, is such a trivial thing. 

We've all had times in our life that we can't muster up a smile, we can't  swallow hard enough to speak,   we can't look up from the ground, or we're simply oblivious to our surroundings.    

Know this:  if someone totally ignores you as you hold a door, the kindness that you offered is probably more important, more helpful, than what you do for the person who has what it takes to look you straight in the eye, smile, and say thank you.

The next time you do something nice for someone, anything nice, and you are ignored, I thank you for doing that.  
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Intelligence or Stupidity?

6/30/2018

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Someone once told me that if I don’t watch the news, people will consider me stupid.  It truly made me stop to think.

The news can be good to know because the stress it causes can spur people into action to create change.  Years ago, that happened to me, and I got involved in politics.  It was terrible.  A truly awful experience.  I will not do that again.  It made me frustrated and angry, and took over my thoughts to the point that I couldn’t sleep.  I gave up.  I since decided that watching the news does nothing good for me or the world, so I now put my energies elsewhere.

When I read, or watch a video online, it’s generally something that makes me smarter about helping people.  This is what I love, so it feels good to me.  It makes me happy and fulfills me.  I get better at what I do, so the good feelings increase even more.  When someone tells me that their sessions with me always make them feel better, it brings true joy into my heart, and creates an avalanche of goodness.

I’ve realized that no matter what I do, how I act, what I say, or who I am, some people will like me, and others will not.  If someone determines that I’m stupid because I don’t know what’s going on in Afghanistan, or whether or not Patrick Little is a neo-nazi, then I’m okay with it.  I don’t need people’s approval because I am always trying to improve myself, always striving to be the best person I can be.  I’m strong. I’m flexible.  I’m smart about how I can help people.  I truly believe that the more helpful I can be, the better the community will be, and the better the world will be.
 Whether that makes me intelligent or stupid, that is my direction in life. 
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How do I save my body during long drives?

4/17/2018

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I've been travelling from Solvang, CA to Henderson NV, to attend Anat Baniel Method workshops.  I love the workshops, but not so much the long drive.  I can spend all day exercising and feel fine.  Put me in a car for a few hours, and my body feels  like I've aged about 30 years.  Well, I've found a couple of things that help, that I highly recommend.
Having cherry tomatoes and baby carrots next to me in the car is great.  They're super easy to grab and eat while I'm driving, I like them, they're not messy, they're healthy so I don't feel guilty about eating them, and they keep me from getting  hungry too quickly.
The other thing, is to stop at least every two hours for a quick stretch.  Each time I stop, I only do one thing so it makes me stick to this plan.  Once is a lunch stop, once is for gas, once  for a drink.  If nothing is needed, I'll just pull off the freeway to find a safe place to get out of the car.    I swear that stretching saves my body!   I'm over 50 years old, so I don't care what people think if they see me. 
Here's what I recommend:   Stand up tall and do side bends, twists and  round and arch your back.  Then bend over to touch your toes so you feel a stretch down the backs of your thighs.  Lastly, stand up and bend your right knee so your foot comes towards your butt, and grab your foot with your right hand.  This will stretch the front of your thigh.  Of course, do it on the left side as well.
Super easy, right?!  This whole stretching routine can take just a minute or two, then you can be on your way.  Please note that if you want to do more, or take longer, by all means do it!

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What is the secret to eating healthfully?

4/4/2018

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I'm typing this because I'm eating a blueberry muffin from Costco.  Why am I eating a blueberry muffin?  Because over the last few days, I had a houseful of company and decided that I should serve them with Easter brunch.  I also decided that, because it was my son's birthday, we needed a huge apple pie. 
We apparently also needed cookies and chocolate.  Of course there were leftovers.  Unless I have company, I don't buy this stuff.  Once they're in my house, I  have no self control.    I dive into it like I'm starving.  Sheesh!
There are  tons of books, articles, blogs, etc. about how to eat healthfully.    It's not like I don't know how to do it.  Most people    already know what foods to eat and not eat.  It's not like it's a well kept secret!    But here IS the secret to eating healthfully.   
Don't. Buy. The. Crap. 
If you don't buy it, you can't eat it.  It's that simple. 
​Wish me luck for the next time I have company!

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How do I keep from arguing?

6/18/2016

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When two people are in a small rowboat together, and one person leans out over the edge, it’s natural for the other person to lean the opposite way, so the boat doesn’t tip.  It’s that way with relationships.  If one person leans away from the other, perhaps in anger, the other person will lean the opposite way, looking for a feeling of balance.  The problem is that usually the second person will lean out farther than the first person did, in order to make a point.  This tips the boat in the second person's direction, causing the first person to lean out even farther.  If this keeps happening, both people will end up falling out of the boat, and into the water. 
Yelling at someone will almost always trigger a reflex in the other person to yell back, leaning out of the boat.  Once yelling starts, it has a tendency to escalate, each person leaning farther and farther out of the boat.
So why do we yell when a person is within hearing distance?  Consider the idea that their hearts have moved away from each other.  The angrier they are, the more distant their hearts become and feel that they have to shout to overcome the distance.  
When individuals feel love toward each other, they talk softly.  The closer their hearts feel, the more they lean into each other, and the softer they speak, sometimes bringing it down to a whisper.  When people whisper, the other person has to lean in to hear.  If two people are in a boat and one person leans in, this will also cause the boat to tip.  In order to create balance, the second person needs to  lean in as well.  This creates a beautiful feeling of closeness.  When hearts are at their closest, no words are needed at all.  Just a look can say it all.
So when someone you love says or does something upsetting, and you feel like yelling and leaning out of the boat, stop and take a breath.  Then lean in.  This is not the same as giving in.  What it means is to put love first.  Be gentle with your words so you don’t distance your hearts.  Try to truly understand the other person’s point of view because with understanding, comes compassion.  When there’s compassion, we can come back to love.  And your little boat can take you to wonderful, magical places.

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