In my life, there has been nothing more difficult than watching a loved one suffer with health issues. When all you can do is stand by their side and let them know you love them, it doesn't feel like near enough. It's stressful to say the least. One thing I've learned, is that stress comes from trying to control something that you can't control. Another person's health falls within that category, for sure. You can't control someone's failing kidneys. You can't control someone's dementia. You can't control someone's seizures. All you can do is be there. You can talk with them, hold their hand, make them a meal, clean their house, etc., but it seems so nominal. It seems like nothing. It can make you feel helpless, and bring your spirit down.
This morning I was feeling down, and I decided that I was going to let my inner warrior angel guide me today. I call it my inner warrior angel because I got an image of a beautiful white angel with a sword. She looked beautiful, graceful, smart and strong. It looked and felt to me as though she could handle anything. I liked that, and it felt good to me to feel that spirit that I know is within me. It helped.
Then I kind of laughed to myself. I thought of the story of Sybil. She was a real woman who had 16 personalities. She was diagnosed with Multiple Personality Disorder: a type of psychosis. Depending on what was happening in her life, different personalities would come through. If I remember correctly, some of her personalities were children, some were men, some were women.
For a moment I thought, "Oh no! Am I psychotic?!?" Luckily I remembered that her personalities didn't know that the others existed. I think that is key, so I figured I'm okay. LOL
But it made me ponder the idea that people really do have different aspects of themselves. If one were to meet the Queen of England, they would attune to a certain aspect of themself that would be far different than the aspect they would attune to when meeting up at a bar with a lifelong friend that they hadn't seen in 20 years. A singer brings out a different aspect of themself on stage than they would at a gas station. Thank Goodness!
Anyway, I'm thankful that I can draw on the strongest and most beautiful part of myself whenever I want to. It's a very good thing.
This morning I was feeling down, and I decided that I was going to let my inner warrior angel guide me today. I call it my inner warrior angel because I got an image of a beautiful white angel with a sword. She looked beautiful, graceful, smart and strong. It looked and felt to me as though she could handle anything. I liked that, and it felt good to me to feel that spirit that I know is within me. It helped.
Then I kind of laughed to myself. I thought of the story of Sybil. She was a real woman who had 16 personalities. She was diagnosed with Multiple Personality Disorder: a type of psychosis. Depending on what was happening in her life, different personalities would come through. If I remember correctly, some of her personalities were children, some were men, some were women.
For a moment I thought, "Oh no! Am I psychotic?!?" Luckily I remembered that her personalities didn't know that the others existed. I think that is key, so I figured I'm okay. LOL
But it made me ponder the idea that people really do have different aspects of themselves. If one were to meet the Queen of England, they would attune to a certain aspect of themself that would be far different than the aspect they would attune to when meeting up at a bar with a lifelong friend that they hadn't seen in 20 years. A singer brings out a different aspect of themself on stage than they would at a gas station. Thank Goodness!
Anyway, I'm thankful that I can draw on the strongest and most beautiful part of myself whenever I want to. It's a very good thing.
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