How do I keep from arguing?

When two people are in a small rowboat together, and one person leans out over the edge, it’s natural for the other person to lean the opposite way, so the boat doesn’t tip.  It’s that way with relationships.  If one person leans away from the other, perhaps in anger, the other person will lean the opposite way, looking for a feeling of balance.  The problem is that usually the second person will lean out farther than the first person did, in order to make a point.  This tips the boat in the second person's direction, causing the first person to lean out even farther.  If this keeps happening, both people will end up falling out of the boat, and into the water. 
Yelling at someone will almost always trigger a reflex in the other person to yell back, leaning out of the boat.  Once yelling starts, it has a tendency to escalate, each person leaning farther and farther out of the boat.
So why do we yell when a person is within hearing distance?  Consider the idea that their hearts have moved away from each other.  The angrier they are, the more distant their hearts become and feel that they have to shout to overcome the distance.  
When individuals feel love toward each other, they talk softly.  The closer their hearts feel, the more they lean into each other, and the softer they speak, sometimes bringing it down to a whisper.  When people whisper, the other person has to lean in to hear.  If two people are in a boat and one person leans in, this will also cause the boat to tip.  In order to create balance, the second person needs to  lean in as well.  This creates a beautiful feeling of closeness.  When hearts are at their closest, no words are needed at all.  Just a look can say it all.
So when someone you love says or does something upsetting, and you feel like yelling and leaning out of the boat, stop and take a breath.  Then lean in.  This is not the same as giving in.  What it means is to put love first.  Be gentle with your words so you don’t distance your hearts.  Try to truly understand the other person’s point of view because with understanding, comes compassion.  When there’s compassion, we can come back to love.  And your little boat can take you to wonderful, magical places.